NOTES FROM THE
HENGE
The slightest of smells can provoke
Mem’ries both mild and baroque
But if what you recall
Ain’t familiar at all
Was the stench an olfactical joke?
The Nose Knows |
SMELL ME A STORY
I remember when I was a kid my parent’s book-cluttered, ever
messy bedroom always had a very specific smell. Not necessarily a bad smell,
just very specific. It was almost
like burnt milk, but not quite. A sweetish/sourish/slightly-funky smell. An
umami-ish old-sock odor? Nah. That’s too harsh. More pleasant than that. Maybe
it was simply the natural smell of an adult couple’s bedroom when the sheets
aren’t changed all that frequently. Dunno.
My folks were both artists, and, like many artists, maintaining
a tidy lifestyle wasn’t at the top of their list of priorities. Clothes were for
keeping the oil paint or typewriter ribbon stains off you while you did your
art (certainly not for looking hip or dressy), cars were simply to transport
you to-and-from selling and doing your art (certainly not for showing off or
driving in style), houses were for protecting you from the weather while you worked
on your art (certainly not comfy showplaces or entertaining party centers), and
bedrooms were made for sleeping (and, um, assorted other stuff) in those rare
moments you weren’t creating art (and certainly not for keeping kempt and fresh
smelling.)
Dad Painting |
I don’t know exactly what the cause of that “my parent’s
bedroom” smell was, but there was no mistaking it. Mild Jarlsberg mixed with
gently decaying paperbacks? Close, but not quite.
Whatever it was, I recently noticed the very same smell as I walked into my own bedroom. What? Yeah. Wow.
I found this both disturbing and yet somehow strangely
comforting. The circle-of-life reek. Or the circle of dirty sheets. Either way,
smelling it prompted me to reach for the Febreze and promise myself to wash a
load of linens ASAP. But it also made me stop and remember my childhood. Maybe,
in the end, it’s the smell of a middle-aged person’s bedroom. A mum and da
smell. An odor indicating where comparatively oldish people sleep (oldish
people who are both bohemian artists and therefore aren’t super fantastic at
housekeeping). I can’t hate that. It is, like it or not, pretty much my life now.
My artsy wife and my artsy self.
I am now around that very age my folks were back when I was
that kid first noticing their bedroom stank. Older, even. Way older in fact. Truth is, now that I think about it, I’m only
nine years younger than my dad was when he died at 64. Jeeze. This astounds me. And upsets me. He accomplished so much in
his short life and I, so far, so very little.
Dad Editing |
Living smack-dab in mass suburbia Levittown, he supported a
family of five while consecutively, successfully,
traversing four separate super risky, super artsy careers. First he was a
prize-winning painter & illustrator of science fiction magazines and pulp
paperbacks known as “EMSH.” (Yeah, that
Emsh.) He also experimented in abstract impressionism painting during that period. Then, even though he was one of the top
artists in his field, he turned his back on all that to chase his bliss and become
an award-winning experimental filmmaker (creating, among other things, Relativity, a movie the New York Times referred to as the “best
short film ever made”). After that he followed (and led) video innovations and made
tons of highly acclaimed avant-garde videos for PBS and elsewhere, launching
him onto a global stage and winning him numerous international awards. Finally,
excited by even more changes in
technology, he transitioned yet again, collaborating with code-writing experts
to pioneer developments in computer graphics and create groundbreaking computer art. In fact the stuff he helped invent spawned lots of the modern CGI we see
in movies and TV today. Super cool sh*t.
Dad Computering |
I won’t even go into (at least not too much) how before any of this above crap happened he
fought the bad guys during WWII in Italy… or how in his last decades he
balanced his personal projects with teaching the next generation as Dean of Film
& Video at The California Institute
of the Arts (even becoming Provost of the whole damn school for a while). There’s
actually, no joke, a book written about my dad and mom that came out a few
years back called Infiniti x Two. I
know, right? Crazy.
It sounds like I’m bragging. And I guess I am, kinda. Sorry.
Hard not to. But the bragging about accomplishments isn’t really my point. He
did lotsa amazing stuff, sure. But even if he hadn’t garnered any awards or
fame or kudos, I think I’d still be super proud.
What society calls “success” is not the point. It sure
wasn’t his. The point is my dad did what he wanted. He focused on his bliss. He
didn’t chase money, he didn’t chase status, he didn’t chase “stuff,” he didn’t
even chase his own previous triumphs. And he didn’t, I guarantee you, reach for
the Febreze when his bedroom smelled a little funky. That was, I think, the
farthest thing from his mind.
So, if you’ll forgive a truly awkward aphorism, I offer: Forgo the Febreze. Bag Your Bliss.
Miss you, Dad. (You crazy-assed, tormented genius guy, you.)
Just Dad |
Thank you for posting this! Your father's illustrations have made a huge difference in my life, and I'll treasure them for all the years that are left to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for you comment, MFD. That means a lot to me!
DeleteHappy Father's Day. Nice to see an acorn that didn't fall from the most special tree in the forest...
ReplyDeleteAnd I guess I can comment...
Thanks for commenting, Barbara! (Glad it worked!)
DeleteAnd as anonymous...
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this, Stoney!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting!
DeleteGreat story! [no, I mean it, I'm not just posting to see if the comment section works!]
ReplyDeleteAnd again...
ReplyDeleteI smell Prairie Home Companion in your future.
ReplyDeleteBernie
LOL!
DeleteMy bedroom smells like coffee, much like Nullity's at it's former address on Thompson off of Bleeker Street used to smell when I went there to buy tea in those times I knew you when. Thank you for this beautiful memory of your father. I wonder if I can grow a beard and play him in the Bio Pic someday. Your fatherless friend, Happy hugs to you. "Eeekkkkkkk!" (That wasn't me screaming. It was the coffee mouse who lives behind my bed in a big bag of stale coffee beans.)
ReplyDeleteThanks GLS! Start growing that beard today!
DeleteDear Stoney,
ReplyDeleteThis reminisce is sweet and inspiring. I would just remind you to respect your own substantial accomplishments. You too are worthy of awe and affection.
Thank you Sari! Very kind of you!
DeleteThanks, brother, for your beautiful and true tribute to Dad. I remember that bedroom smell well. It always is amazing to think of how Dad moved from one art form to another to another, following his bliss and pushing his own envelope. I always think of him as inspiring us to believe we could try many things and change our minds whenever. I know he was very proud of all you did and would be for all you've done. As I am! Happy Father's Day!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wonderful comment, Susan. (Glad you were finally able to post after all those technical problems!)
DeleteGreat post about your Dad! I wish I had a chance to meet him. But seriously, don't belittle your own accomplishments. I've heard that you have a great Wife as well as a cat and a blog. Just don't forget to feed and walk him and try to teach him to do something other than sit.
ReplyDeleteMy wife is housebroken but, sadly, my blog isn't. Thanks for the comment!
DeleteGreat story. Your parents were an important part of my life as well. I saw from them how two creative people could function in a world after High School. As a confused teen, I thought I didn't fit in, and I felt I did in your family, in your house. Thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful comment. I really appreciate it.
Delete